I think of my life as I stare at the man in the mirror, what have I become ? I reminisce on my childhood years and those days I said to myself, with a grimace to emphasize my disgust, that I would never become what I am now, a chain smoker, a drug user. But here I am. Man proposes and the universe disposes.
I heave a heavy sigh, I feel the weight of addiction pressing hard on my shoulders and this monkey I can’t knock off my back clinging tighter to me, sinking its sharp claws deep into my flesh. Go ahead and do it, it says to me and laughs manically.
I can stop when I want to stop, I say to myself, half believing, half trusting in myself and my ability to control this addiction, this deep rooted longing to satisfy this vice, this sin, this abomination.
Just then, I raise the pipe to my mouth and suck on it as I burn it up from the other end. I inhale deeply with my eyes closed and exhale while opening them slowly, I feel the rush.
I slump tiredly on the mattress and relish the way I feel, I close my eyes and vibe along to a song playing from the speakers, trying to get in tune with the infinite. Why would anyone want to feel any different? The euphoric feeling feels so good that I want to do it again and again.